When Loss Evokes Change


Have you ever received some news that catches you by surprise? You’re caught off guard and many thoughts begin to fly through your head. Then you pause. Everything goes silent and you feel numb. You slowly begin to hear the raindrops falling outside. You snap out of it and now you’re back to focusing on your thoughts. You begin to unscramble them. There are so many emotions that you’re trying to process. The final thought becomes, “wow, today can be anyone’s last day on earth.”

Today I heard the news that a gentleman that I met last year passed away. All I could think of was “wow, I knew him, he’s young, joyful, humble, genuine, motivated and successful.” He had this amazing energy that you immediately felt while in his presence. He was “my” type of person... a person that you can have deep, intellectual conversations with. He was the type of person that instilled motivation in you. He was the type of person that provided a friendship that helped you personally develop.

I could not fathom what I had heard so I proceeded to check his FB page. To my dismay, it was true. In complete shock and confusion I started reading some of the comments on his page. Many people were sharing many of the same positive things I mentioned above. Overall I knew that everyone felt blessed to have been able to share the same space with him. I began to think about all the wonderful things about him that I never conveyed to him. Many things that if I knew this day would come, I would have acted on.

The following thoughts flashed through my head as I continued to think about life in general... How we have positive comments to say to one another, but we don’t. How we become angry at one another and easily toss friendships away. How holding grudges with one another does not serve us a purpose but rather hinders us. How being in an unhappy environment is pointless and we forget that we can choose to walk away. How we let excuses comfort us. How we build walls in fear of being hurt. How we try to avoid love so things don’t get “complicated”. How we seek validation from others instead of trusting the most important person, our intuition, our souls, ourselves. How we let ourselves drown in friendships and/or behaviors that will not benefit our lives. How we forget to believe in ourselves. How we spend more time working on other individuals rather than ourselves. How we put others first at the cost of our own health. How we tend to forget that we should cut unhealthy ties even in the most difficult of situations. How we forget about how STRONG we are! How comfort keeps us from seeking more in life. How we limit ourselves due to the fear of something “not working out.” How we “save something for later” to avoid the task…. I could go on and on! You get where I am going with this. It’s so sad that an event such as DEATH can instantly alter how you think and feel even if it’s for a brief few moments. Depending on how close you are to the individual or how deep your relationship was, the impact may last longer. Then after this life-altering event occurs and the “awakening” moment passes, we tend to forget the impact of this loss. After we are told about a loss, most of us think, "wow, life is unexpected. Anything can happen. I should tell these people I love them. I should ignore the bullshit and focus on myself. That’s it I’m making changes.” We proceed to go on about life with a different mindset. Whether that last a few moments, days, months, years. But then something happens, life itself happens. You know, the moment when you snap out of this “mindset.” This usually happens after a mishap situation where we become frustrated with life and are reminded that life isn’t always this happy place and things do not always go as planned. So then we begin to resort back to comfort living. Life gets back on track with what it was prior to this mindset shift. Because when we become frustrated its easier to become submissive and dismiss things. We move on and forget about the way of life we WANTED to follow after hearing about a loss and saying, “LIFE IS TOO SHORT AND ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.”

I am tired of not living up to my highest potential KNOWING that I am CAPABLE of it. I would love it if my peers would join me in striving to achieve new levels of personal/spiritual growth. The type of change where you look back 12 months and say, “wow, that’s where I was, look where I am, look how I’m doing, I could never have imagined being here now.” That’s the type of change I want to evoke. Sometimes when we think of change people imagine large projects such as starting a business or making a huge investment. No, everyone’s idea of success and happiness is different. It’s all about making changes that in the end will benefit you! It’s about taking your thoughts and putting them into action. Do not over think it, that does nothing but cause stress and delay the process of initiation. Begin and do not worry about perfection. It’s about having the final outcome in mind BUT focusing on the present. Remember that the image of the “final outcome” may change as you go along on your journey but usually it’s for a better one.

The next time that I brainstorm an idea that I want to put into action, I know that FEAR will try to creep in to convince me that I am not worthy of this dream. But I am prepared to respond and convince myself that, “why not me?” We all have the POWER to CREATE our JOURNEY. We all have the power to take the necessary steps to create a journey that satisfies our souls. Let’s choose to dismiss fear and begin living a soul satisfying journey. A personal journey that we build, not a life that just drags us along any given path. Now the only things left to do, is for you to decide that it’s now time to create your journey. It’s up to you to decide that you want change and that you will commit to living a soul satisfying life. Together, we can do this. You are not alone.

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